








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 890 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 667 matches | ||
| Renown | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4725 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3569 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3657 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4021 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3226 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,019,307 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 764 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marvin Beak | 51% | 109 |
| #2 | Rexxious | 49% | 75 |
| #3 | llinkis | 49% | 51 |
| #4 | Jack Ma | 48% | 129 |
| #5 | Sahmed | 48% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Rexxious | 49% | 75 |
| #3 | llinkis | 49% | 51 |
| #4 | Jack Ma | 48% | 129 |
| #5 | Sahmed | 48% | 197 |
| #6 | Toxiclainen | 42% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marvin Beak | 14 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Rexxious | 9 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Jack Ma | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Sahmed | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Toxiclainen | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marvin Beak | 474 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | Rexxious | 355 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #3 | Jack Ma | 159 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Sahmed | 86 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | llinkis | 59 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rexxious | +2.04 | 78 | 72 |
| #2 | Marvin Beak | +2.01 | 80 | 60 |
| #3 | llinkis | +0.34 | 40 | 64 |
| #4 | Jazimpac | -0.40 | 52 | 41 |
| #5 | Jack Ma | -0.50 | 37 | 56 |





