








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
453 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 240 | 31% |
| Smokes | 192 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 125 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 226 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $93,482 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lilac | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | disconnected | 100% | 6 |
| #3 | mira | 100% | 7 |
| #4 | Stx | 88% | 8 |
| #5 | raven | 81% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Drughero | 67% | 3 |
| #11 | Freya 🏳️⚧ | 67% | 3 |
| #12 | Noble 6 | 67% | 3 |
| #13 | dynasty | 60% | 5 |
| #14 | hm | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | raven | 9 | 0.0232 |
| #2 | fluffypuppy | 3 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | mira | 3 | 0.0221 |
| #4 | disconnected | 2 | 0.0179 |
| #5 | hm | 2 | 0.0189 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fluffypuppy | 29 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | mira | 26 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | raven | 20 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Stx | 19 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | disconnected | 11 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voltage | +7.61 | 96 | 58 |
| #2 | fluffypuppy | +6.36 | 95 | 59 |
| #3 | pup | +4.38 | 94 | 49 |
| #4 | Noble 6 | +3.41 | 88 | 47 |
| #5 | Fawx ♥ | +2.52 | 92 | 59 |





