








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,571 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2101 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2231 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1223 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2016 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $222,047 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlinK | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | SwagMort | 67% | 52 |
| #3 | havee | 63% | 19 |
| #4 | abh | 61% | 31 |
| #5 | Eye Popper | 61% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lightening | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | abh | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | zPhoeniX | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SwagMort | 159 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Lightening | 89 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | abh | 84 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Olivia Rodrigo Minion | 82 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | havee | 64 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eye Popper | +5.50 | 89 | 59 |
| #2 | SwagMort | +4.38 | 86 | 66 |
| #3 | aaa | +2.33 | 73 | 71 |
| #4 | zPhoeniX | +1.21 | 72 | 58 |
| #5 | abh | +0.56 | 80 | 59 |





