








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 349 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2707 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4952 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4090 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2574 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3090 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $590,396 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 371 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saken | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | JulioTheillegal | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | Ozzy | 58% | 38 |
| #4 | Woge | 56% | 127 |
| #5 | M1ckW1ck | 56% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Woge | 56% | 127 |
| #5 | M1ckW1ck | 56% | 27 |
| #6 | saltA | 53% | 196 |
| #7 | Nadda | 49% | 134 |
| #8 | Bubz | 45% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saltA | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | M1ckW1ck | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Bubz | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Ozzy | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saltA | 829 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #2 | M1ckW1ck | 326 | 0.53 | 8 min |
| #3 | Woge | 288 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | Nadda | 196 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Bubz | 89 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saltA | +1.96 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | JulioTheillegal | +1.32 | 64 | 70 |
| #3 | Woge | +1.01 | 75 | 69 |
| #4 | zinG | +0.55 | 63 | 68 |
| #5 | Saken | +0.03 | 77 | 47 |





