








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2856 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,278 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2032 | 14% |
| Smokes | 4178 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4116 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3952 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,924,676 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 402 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ice King | 52% | 29 |
| #2 | Spartaner | 52% | 66 |
| #3 | GripTapeUser㊌ | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | Pfeffi | 44% | 61 |
| #5 | LPAkte | 42% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | GripTapeUser㊌ | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | Pfeffi | 44% | 61 |
| #5 | LPAkte | 42% | 244 |
| #6 | ★ Sιиιѕтєя | 34% | 35 |
| #7 | JnZ- | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LPAkte | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Spartaner | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Pfeffi | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Ice King | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spartaner | 192 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | GripTapeUser㊌ | 180 | 0.36 | 4 min |
| #3 | LPAkte | 178 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | JnZ- | 76 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pfeffi | 73 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ Sιиιѕтєя | +3.69 | 99 | 28 |
| #2 | GripTapeUser㊌ | +2.76 | 80 | 60 |
| #3 | LPAkte | +1.41 | 63 | 48 |
| #4 | Ice King | +1.30 | 59 | 66 |
| #5 | JnZ- | +0.98 | 59 | 62 |





