








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1484 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,969 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 419 | 8% |
| Smokes | 1449 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1637 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1464 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $302,482 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Phillipp Amthor | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | OniNagato | 50% | 22 |
| #6 | El.Presidente | 44% | 291 |
| #7 | Bunny | 44% | 50 |
| #8 | nuup | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El.Presidente | 16 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Bunny | 10 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | zBugi | 5 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | wuidwuid | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Phillipp Amthor | 2 | 0.0032 |





