








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 225 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2544 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,617 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2208 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3192 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 588 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 2629 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $867,102 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 207 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kay whirl | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | eli | 53% | 55 |
| #3 | nba youngboy | 52% | 58 |
| #4 | Israel Is T-Sided | 52% | 128 |
| #5 | camthakilla | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kay whirl | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | eli | 53% | 55 |
| #3 | nba youngboy | 52% | 58 |
| #4 | Israel Is T-Sided | 52% | 128 |
| #5 | camthakilla | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Israel Is T-Sided | 20 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | eli | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | nba youngboy | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | kay whirl | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | camthakilla | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Israel Is T-Sided | 312 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | eli | 118 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | kay whirl | 49 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | camthakilla | 48 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | nba youngboy | 25 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gay gamer | +1.13 | 77 | 57 |
| #2 | camthakilla | +0.85 | 73 | 57 |
| #3 | kay whirl | +0.75 | 81 | 59 |
| #4 | Israel Is T-Sided | -0.05 | 58 | 70 |
| #5 | eli | -0.18 | 78 | 58 |





