








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
318 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 880 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 135 | 15% |
| Smokes | 230 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 177 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 338 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $356,008 of utility $356 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Råttade | 53% | 38 |
| #2 | Kimmukka | 47% | 49 |
| #3 | Ahmo Michclangch | 45% | 42 |
| #4 | Richard (W)atterson | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | O-Dog | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Råttade | 53% | 38 |
| #2 | Kimmukka | 47% | 49 |
| #3 | Ahmo Michclangch | 45% | 42 |
| #4 | Richard (W)atterson | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | O-Dog | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahmo Michclangch | 7 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | O-Dog | 4 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Råttade | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Kimmukka | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahmo Michclangch | 199 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | Richard (W)atterson | 68 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kimmukka | 67 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Råttade | 60 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | O-Dog | 22 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahmo Michclangch | +5.06 | 62 | 83 |
| #2 | Kimmukka | +2.95 | 59 | 71 |
| #3 | Råttade | -0.06 | 54 | 58 |
| #4 | Richard (W)atterson | -0.95 | 42 | 67 |
| #5 | Jussukka | -3.61 | 25 | 36 |





