








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1372 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,594 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1587 | 44% |
| Smokes | 1192 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 655 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 160 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $684,191 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonker | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | jaboi313 | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | Jusu | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | Kommandant Tim | 48% | 161 |
| #5 | Kommandant Papi | 47% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | jaboi313 | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | Jusu | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | Kommandant Tim | 48% | 161 |
| #5 | Kommandant Papi | 47% | 128 |
| #6 | louwrens de palingboer | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kommandant Tim | 35 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | Kommandant Papi | 26 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | Jonker | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | jaboi313 | 3 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | Jusu | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kommandant Tim | 375 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | Kommandant Papi | 149 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | jaboi313 | 123 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jonker | 57 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jusu | 37 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jusu | +2.89 | 67 | 44 |
| #2 | jaboi313 | +2.87 | 56 | 71 |
| #3 | Jonker | +2.82 | 84 | 49 |
| #4 | louwrens de palingboer | +2.72 | 54 | 55 |
| #5 | Kommandant Tim | +1.90 | 44 | 52 |





