








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 498 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 369 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2808 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,057 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1306 | 19% |
| Smokes | 975 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 2822 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1954 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,394,111 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 299 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rogu | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | F4bian | 55% | 177 |
| #3 | Lukas2602 | 49% | 259 |
| #4 | Mate seller | 48% | 62 |
| #5 | KokosHuveJr | 47% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lukas2602 | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | F4bian | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Claire Anlage | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | rogu | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | m0REEZ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F4bian | 546 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | Lukas2602 | 424 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | Claire Anlage | 352 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | m0REEZ | 334 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | Mate seller | 222 | 0.17 | 6 min |





