








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 757 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2258 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,085 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1226 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1975 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2192 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1692 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,412,953 of utility $271 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 567 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | susie deltarune | 41% | 34 |
| #11 | Sharkiezt | 38% | 16 |
| #12 | isoroku yamamokong | 37% | 70 |
| #13 | Jace | 33% | 18 |
| #14 | Scinyl | 20% | 15 |





