








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
849 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,799 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 699 | 25% |
| Smokes | 620 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 863 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 617 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $220,317 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Työtön | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | 0 impact | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | Kairo | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | ConFi | 75% | 12 |
| #5 | ReZu | 69% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Robenzio | 45% | 64 |
| #10 | crouchp33k | 44% | 9 |
| #11 | rzee | 41% | 17 |
| #12 | sphiNx | 36% | 11 |
| #13 | Nubbo | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robenzio | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | ConFi | 4 | 0.0161 |
| #3 | ReZu | 3 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | Simplanssi | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | BOT NÄNNIPIHAN KEISARI | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robenzio | 136 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Simplanssi | 101 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | ConFi | 52 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | BOT NÄNNIPIHAN KEISARI | 49 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | rzee | 35 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReZu | +3.13 | 65 | 66 |
| #2 | Kairo | +2.43 | 56 | 68 |
| #3 | Colaha | +2.13 | 69 | 67 |
| #4 | ConFi | +0.62 | 38 | 65 |
| #5 | crouchp33k | +0.32 | 68 | 59 |





