








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 266 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 418 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 97 | 1% |
| Smokes | 3155 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 3043 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1760 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,121,191 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GirlMaise | 49% | 113 |
| #2 | Lauenborg | 48% | 238 |
| #3 | Super Monkey 🇩🇰 | 47% | 32 |
| #4 | C-rap | 45% | 192 |
| #5 | SiGG3 | 45% | 213 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | k1n1ce | 42% | 162 |
| #8 | Clickb8 | 40% | 129 |
| #9 | Nockmar | 39% | 210 |
| #10 | MarkMagisk (c) | 36% | 28 |
| #11 | Maria <3 | 31% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C-rap | 427 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | Lauenborg | 404 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | SiGG3 | 403 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | k1n1ce | 395 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | Nockmar | 193 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Monkey 🇩🇰 | +3.45 | 41 | 47 |
| #2 | GirlMaise | +1.75 | 29 | 62 |
| #3 | C-rap | +1.63 | 46 | 80 |
| #4 | Lauenborg | +1.40 | 39 | 68 |
| #5 | k1n1ce | +0.46 | 39 | 74 |





