








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 697 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 505 matches | ||
| Wingman | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 128 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5446 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5913 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6333 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4649 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,942,825 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 341 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GirlMaise | 52% | 90 |
| #2 | C-rap | 51% | 239 |
| #3 | Clickb8 | 45% | 173 |
| #4 | 'FrkNedergaard' ♡ | 45% | 213 |
| #5 | Lauenborg | 44% | 397 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lauenborg | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | C-rap | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Nockmar | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | MarkMagisk (c) | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | k1n1ce | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lauenborg | 611 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #2 | C-rap | 598 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #3 | k1n1ce | 549 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #4 | Nockmar | 172 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | Clickb8 | 146 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Monkey 🇩🇰 | +2.13 | 41 | 43 |
| #2 | GirlMaise | +1.55 | 31 | 60 |
| #3 | C-rap | +1.52 | 46 | 79 |
| #4 | Lauenborg | +1.34 | 39 | 64 |
| #5 | Clickb8 | +0.14 | 31 | 55 |





