








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 117 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2069 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,016 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2073 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1480 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1616 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1847 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $925,526 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noutis | 74% | 23 |
| #2 | suVex | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | RageZ | 64% | 39 |
| #4 | teronahka | 61% | 23 |
| #5 | Ronnieazy | 59% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | HcJope | 55% | 100 |
| #9 | TAMU | 54% | 13 |
| #10 | matiacn | 53% | 72 |
| #11 | pajatsopepe | 52% | 88 |
| #12 | sieppari | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pajatsopepe | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | HcJope | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | hyyssi | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | matiacn | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Ronnieazy | 2 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HcJope | 305 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | hyyssi | 302 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | matiacn | 265 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | pajatsopepe | 198 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Ronnieazy | 82 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teronahka | +1.71 | 67 | 75 |
| #2 | suVex | +1.18 | 73 | 71 |
| #3 | sertoh | +0.98 | 83 | 65 |
| #4 | TAMU | +0.58 | 53 | 54 |
| #5 | Denssi | +0.27 | 72 | 49 |





