








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches | ||
| Faceit | 157 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,049 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4605 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6518 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4683 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5243 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $884,983 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HcJope | 74% | 27 |
| #2 | sertoh | 74% | 23 |
| #3 | P1rtt1 | 60% | 35 |
| #4 | PikkuHousuPasi | 58% | 52 |
| #5 | Kudžoi | 51% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Kondoor | 45% | 87 |
| #9 | eisitte | 45% | 67 |
| #10 | bates | 44% | 275 |
| #11 | Ventsu | 42% | 26 |
| #12 | McSiiseli | 42% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kondoor | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | eisitte | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | bates | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Neylah | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Kronek | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bates | 798 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | Kronek | 340 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | eisitte | 258 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | McSiiseli | 225 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | Ventsu | 196 | 0.35 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P1rtt1 | +3.94 | 81 | 74 |
| #2 | PikkuHousuPasi | +1.38 | 74 | 56 |
| #3 | noutis | +1.03 | 47 | 73 |
| #4 | bates | +1.01 | 66 | 71 |
| #5 | Ventsu | +0.98 | 56 | 78 |





