








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2250 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,415 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2016 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1903 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2250 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2246 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $727,757 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 773 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valdis | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | AW M3 | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | lil b | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | Bomiz | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | Trashy Himbo | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Clout God | 44% | 45 |
| #9 | Bussy Milk | 44% | 16 |
| #10 | 負面社會信用 | 40% | 15 |
| #11 | Big Cumma | 39% | 62 |
| #12 | Nocreativity420 | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Cumma | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Clout God | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | lil b | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Valdis | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Trashy Himbo | 2 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valdis | 131 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #2 | Clout God | 103 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Trashy Himbo | 87 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #4 | lil b | 79 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | 負面社會信用 | 54 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AW M3 | +5.35 | 84 | 59 |
| #2 | Valdis | +3.01 | 62 | 42 |
| #3 | Trashy Himbo | +1.69 | 40 | 53 |
| #4 | BrownieBear | +1.22 | 48 | 62 |
| #5 | 負面社會信用 | +1.06 | 80 | 54 |





