








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 636 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 374 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 239 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4686 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,368 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3756 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6784 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 5956 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2872 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,828,913 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1531 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | FranK | 42% | 36 |
| #6 | Cazanova | 41% | 68 |
| #7 | AusTin0s | 41% | 54 |
| #8 | #TixeN. | 37% | 60 |
| #9 | MR R0B0T - | 28% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FranK | 11 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | Cazanova | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | MORW.exe | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | AusTin0s | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | MR R0B0T - | 4 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cazanova | 266 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | FranK | 221 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #3 | s1xyouss | 199 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | AusTin0s | 196 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | MORW.exe | 162 | 0.13 | 3 min |





