








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Wingman | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 303 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




103 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,078 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2491 | 13% |
| Smokes | 6082 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4925 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5580 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,750,549 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | KjaX | 51% | 609 |
| #8 | [MS-15]Alvarrarn | 50% | 196 |
| #9 | -]TLC[- Karomiep | 50% | 216 |
| #10 | Herofindel | 46% | 175 |
| #11 | NuggetVanBoven | 43% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herofindel | 871 | 0.25 | 19 min |
| #2 | [MS-15]Alvarrarn | 500 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | KjaX | 396 | 0.03 | 9 min |
| #4 | -]TLC[- Karomiep | 266 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | ExyQ.HEADHUNTER | 165 | 0.09 | 4 min |





