








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 444 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2444 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1423 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1114 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2760 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1780 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $781,112 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buziolek | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | BOT Esiok Oficjalnie PRO | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | ManuaL | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Plewko | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | GERBER CSGOSKINSCASE.GIFT | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Esiok Oficjalnie PRO | 294 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Plewko | 172 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | ManuaL | 120 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Buziolek | 107 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | GERBER CSGOSKINSCASE.GIFT | 98 | 0.09 | 2 min |





