








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,524 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2142 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3337 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4228 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1817 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $362,384 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ๐๐๐๐ | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | ADAMstalwart | 51% | 235 |
| #5 | Moist Wick | 51% | 99 |
| #6 | Hux | 50% | 131 |
| #7 | krisiwhoever | 47% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADAMstalwart | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Hux | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Moist Wick | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | tiha777 | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | krisiwhoever | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADAMstalwart | 336 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | Moist Wick | 319 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | tiha777 | 136 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | krisiwhoever | 114 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | ๐๐๐๐ | 49 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krisiwhoever | +2.42 | 80 | 54 |
| #2 | tiha777 | +1.11 | 73 | 59 |
| #3 | BaKKeR | +0.85 | 45 | 52 |
| #4 | ADAMstalwart | -0.04 | 54 | 40 |
| #5 | Moist Wick | -0.74 | 53 | 54 |





