








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 154 matches | ||
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3356 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,322 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3502 | 38% |
| Smokes | 538 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 2487 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2795 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $931,737 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 526 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | meef | 56% | 43 |
| #8 | [TiRoNi] | 53% | 51 |
| #9 | hEFEST | 53% | 55 |
| #10 | Ket | 53% | 59 |
| #11 | doki doks paradoks | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ashhe | 216 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | JackH | 196 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | meef | 171 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Putrik | 127 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | hEFEST | 122 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ CuriS | +3.70 | 91 | 62 |
| #2 | hEFEST | +1.02 | 59 | 68 |
| #3 | doki doks paradoks | +0.53 | 65 | 58 |
| #4 | JackH | +0.18 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | ashhe | +0.10 | 83 | 63 |





