








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 633 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1362 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1535 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1856 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1585 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $498,773 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jape | 65% | 83 |
| #2 | qtor (: | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | Ket | 54% | 57 |
| #4 | meef | 54% | 46 |
| #5 | [TiRoNi] | 54% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | qtor (: | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | Ket | 54% | 57 |
| #4 | meef | 54% | 46 |
| #5 | [TiRoNi] | 54% | 61 |
| #6 | ✪ CuriS | 53% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jape | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | [TiRoNi] | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | ✪ CuriS | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | meef | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | qtor (: | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jape | 425 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #2 | meef | 183 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | [TiRoNi] | 133 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪ CuriS | 123 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ket | 116 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ CuriS | +4.63 | 93 | 59 |
| #2 | hEFEST | +2.76 | 58 | 68 |
| #3 | jape | +0.15 | 62 | 66 |
| #4 | Ket | -0.09 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | [TiRoNi] | -1.90 | 71 | 70 |





