








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 334 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 334 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3494 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,897 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3355 | 42% |
| Smokes | 2214 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 640 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 1688 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,085,428 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >:| | 50% | 44 |
| #2 | JonnyTwoHorses | 49% | 91 |
| #3 | Rob | 49% | 120 |
| #4 | ntimidate | 47% | 94 |
| #5 | Andrew | 47% | 300 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Zain0kar | 44% | 72 |
| #9 | 7ero | 44% | 34 |
| #10 | Big Poppa | 40% | 25 |
| #11 | s4cred | 32% | 22 |
| #12 | BerrBerr | 28% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andrew | 1571 | 0.26 | 45 min |
| #2 | ntimidate | 253 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | >:| | 224 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #4 | Rob | 206 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | 7ero | 182 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andrew | +4.27 | 59 | 75 |
| #2 | >:| | +3.69 | 68 | 75 |
| #3 | NooReTos | +1.85 | 45 | 60 |
| #4 | Catboy Criminal (=ʘᆽʘ=)∫ | +0.05 | 64 | 49 |
| #5 | ntimidate | -0.28 | 47 | 62 |





