








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2523 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,194 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2022 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1242 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1724 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1206 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $411,338 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | he1b | 72% | 46 |
| #16 | <μ's> Rin.Hoshizora | 71% | 14 |
| #17 | Mercer | 71% | 41 |
| #18 | Meowbb | 69% | 58 |
| #19 | Ash1ey | 64% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | he1b | 11 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | ronaldwonglo | 9 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Mercer | 8 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | o1 | 8 | 0.0238 |
| #5 | jin | 4 | 0.0070 |





