








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2195 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1619 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1659 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1466 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1594 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $607,983 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dog The downie Hunter | 55% | 58 |
| #2 | SugarGoose | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | Confounds | 54% | 70 |
| #4 | whitey | 53% | 163 |
| #5 | Pokypainッ | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dog The downie Hunter | 55% | 58 |
| #2 | SugarGoose | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | Confounds | 54% | 70 |
| #4 | whitey | 53% | 163 |
| #5 | Pokypainッ | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whitey | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Confounds | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Pokypainッ | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Dog The downie Hunter | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whitey | 232 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | Dog The downie Hunter | 175 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Confounds | 89 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | SugarGoose | 73 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pokypainッ | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Praetor | +1.95 | 80 | 53 |
| #2 | SugarGoose | +1.10 | 63 | 60 |
| #3 | whitey | +0.27 | 39 | 55 |
| #4 | Dog The downie Hunter | -1.07 | 64 | 62 |
| #5 | Confounds | -1.56 | 46 | 60 |





