








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 512 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 331 matches | ||
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3092 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,652 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2078 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2883 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3988 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2703 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,539,249 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Praetor | 54% | 70 |
| #2 | whitey | 53% | 398 |
| #3 | Dog The downie Hunter | 49% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Praetor | 54% | 70 |
| #2 | whitey | 53% | 398 |
| #3 | Dog The downie Hunter | 49% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whitey | 29 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Dog The downie Hunter | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Praetor | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whitey | 571 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #2 | Dog The downie Hunter | 415 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Praetor | 173 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Praetor | +3.02 | 80 | 55 |
| #2 | whitey | +1.35 | 40 | 52 |
| #3 | Dog The downie Hunter | -0.13 | 65 | 62 |
| #4 | Confounds | -0.81 | 42 | 57 |





