








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 644 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Faceit | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2795 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,114 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2889 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2334 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1591 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2300 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,132,474 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 290 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaeL | 60% | 47 |
| #2 | veetee | 57% | 153 |
| #3 | Jerben | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | kane1 | 56% | 75 |
| #5 | rane | 55% | 218 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | kane1 | 56% | 75 |
| #5 | rane | 55% | 218 |
| #6 | kannu | 53% | 205 |
| #7 | säkki | 52% | 145 |
| #8 | jussi | 50% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jussi | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | kannu | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | veetee | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | rane | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | säkki | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jussi | 983 | 0.26 | 27 min |
| #2 | kannu | 917 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #3 | veetee | 382 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #4 | rane | 282 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #5 | kane1 | 184 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kannu | +2.12 | 71 | 75 |
| #2 | JUGI | +0.90 | 68 | 62 |
| #3 | gaeL | +0.15 | 75 | 53 |
| #4 | kane1 | -0.07 | 70 | 53 |
| #5 | jussi | -0.25 | 45 | 69 |





