








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 399 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2552 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,681 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5986 | 44% |
| Smokes | 2392 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3141 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2162 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $722,681 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 314 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Param3d1c | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | Elliminator | 48% | 168 |
| #3 | ✪ Manu | 47% | 292 |
| #4 | Morghulis | 47% | 220 |
| #5 | Sigrid Service | 46% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Param3d1c | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | Elliminator | 48% | 168 |
| #3 | ✪ Manu | 47% | 292 |
| #4 | Morghulis | 47% | 220 |
| #5 | Sigrid Service | 46% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Manu | 18 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Sigrid Service | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Elliminator | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Morghulis | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Param3d1c | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Manu | 1172 | 0.20 | 36 min |
| #2 | Morghulis | 747 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #3 | Elliminator | 303 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | Sigrid Service | 261 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | Param3d1c | 55 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Manu | +3.12 | 79 | 75 |
| #2 | Param3d1c | -0.22 | 55 | 67 |
| #3 | Elliminator | -0.24 | 68 | 62 |
| #4 | Plagi- | -1.28 | 56 | 70 |
| #5 | Sigrid Service | -1.48 | 32 | 59 |





