








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 768 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3104 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,014 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3064 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2477 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1585 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2888 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,220,569 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 285 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Par0dy0faPr0 | 60% | 228 |
| #2 | McPeace | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | Plagi- | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | Elliminator | 53% | 116 |
| #5 | Nerexis | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | JB | 47% | 60 |
| #8 | ✪ Stefelele ✖仲間 | 45% | 75 |
| #9 | Morghulis | 45% | 53 |
| #10 | schmandperle | 43% | 37 |
| #11 | JustSomeWombat | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elliminator | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | JB | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Par0dy0faPr0 | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Morghulis | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | McPeace | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Par0dy0faPr0 | 352 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #2 | Elliminator | 203 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Morghulis | 202 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | ✪ Manu | 184 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | JB | 169 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Manu | +2.51 | 75 | 77 |
| #2 | Param3d1c | +1.71 | 67 | 67 |
| #3 | ✪ Stefelele ✖仲間 | +1.31 | 75 | 67 |
| #4 | Par0dy0faPr0 | +1.23 | 58 | 66 |
| #5 | schmandperle | +0.47 | 78 | 60 |





