








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 579 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2058 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1230 | 26% |
| Smokes | 843 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1471 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1162 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $610,782 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VSGE | 49% | 103 |
| #2 | Gabel | 48% | 64 |
| #3 | KalluG | 45% | 67 |
| #4 | Booli | 41% | 59 |
| #5 | Tobl | 36% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | KalluG | 45% | 67 |
| #4 | Booli | 41% | 59 |
| #5 | Tobl | 36% | 39 |
| #6 | Eebuli | 36% | 14 |
| #7 | Zamaani | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VSGE | 10 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Booli | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Tobl | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Gabel | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | KalluG | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VSGE | 223 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Tobl | 108 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Gabel | 79 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | KalluG | 78 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Booli | 72 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Houpee | +3.57 | 87 | 60 |
| #2 | KalluG | +1.15 | 56 | 55 |
| #3 | VSGE | -0.41 | 72 | 61 |
| #4 | Gabel | -0.55 | 46 | 67 |
| #5 | Eebuli | -0.70 | 82 | 43 |





