








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
262 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,421 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 288 | 20% |
| Smokes | 306 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 404 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 423 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $53,538 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Houpee | 36% | 39 |
| #2 | VSGE | 35% | 17 |
| #3 | Booli | 32% | 22 |
| #4 | Gabel | 27% | 15 |
| #5 | Eebuli | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | VSGE | 35% | 17 |
| #3 | Booli | 32% | 22 |
| #4 | Gabel | 27% | 15 |
| #5 | Eebuli | 22% | 9 |
| #6 | KalluG | 17% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booli | 3 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | VSGE | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Houpee | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | KalluG | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Gabel | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Houpee | 95 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | VSGE | 51 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Booli | 30 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | KalluG | 24 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Eebuli | 22 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Houpee | +3.37 | 91 | 59 |
| #2 | Gabel | +0.00 | 50 | 52 |
| #3 | VSGE | -0.18 | 82 | 62 |
| #4 | KalluG | -0.58 | 58 | 56 |
| #5 | Eebuli | -1.28 | 86 | 50 |





