








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 739 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1516 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 962 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 851 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $416,742 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 77 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOB | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | T0PG0D | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Bob | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | bob | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | -miksy | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ain | 134 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | AIn | 116 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | bob | 57 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Meerits | 32 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | 🖤🅷🅴🅽🆃🅸🖤 | 31 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOB | +3.84 | 85 | 53 |
| #2 | ToxTel | +2.37 | 68 | 55 |
| #3 | bob | +1.81 | 87 | 61 |
| #4 | 🖤🅷🅴🅽🆃🅸🖤 | +1.17 | 82 | 66 |
| #5 | Toika | +0.51 | 76 | 44 |





