








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1356 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,598 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1739 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1302 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 547 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1010 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $394,460 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NOMNOMNOM | 100% | 9 |
| #2 | MrWacko | 63% | 49 |
| #3 | memminen | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | Restarted% | 61% | 92 |
| #5 | Rocky | 58% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rocky | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Je moeder | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | memminen | 2 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | Restarted% | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | NOMNOMNOM | 1 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rocky | 123 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Restarted% | 120 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | unknowN | 59 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Je moeder | 56 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Audi R8 LMS GT3 EVO II | 55 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NOMNOMNOM | +3.41 | 37 | 58 |
| #2 | Beenster | +2.81 | 68 | 73 |
| #3 | Audi R8 LMS GT3 EVO II | +2.71 | 62 | 75 |
| #4 | unknowN | +0.97 | 69 | 67 |
| #5 | wheezypz | +0.83 | 68 | 80 |





