








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1217 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 417 matches | ||
| Faceit | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7625 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,202 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9829 | 33% |
| Smokes | 7414 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6199 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6760 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,136,830 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 651 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | de_mykey | 57% | 200 |
| #2 | Pandaa | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | yake | 55% | 44 |
| #4 | JEFF | 53% | 49 |
| #5 | Mint Lil E | 52% | 289 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Pandaa | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | yake | 55% | 44 |
| #4 | JEFF | 53% | 49 |
| #5 | Mint Lil E | 52% | 289 |
| #6 | NICK | 45% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mint Lil E | 18 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | JEFF | 7 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | de_mykey | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Pandaa | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | NICK | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | de_mykey | 861 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #2 | Mint Lil E | 677 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #3 | Pandaa | 211 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #4 | JEFF | 207 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | NICK | 97 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leo | +1.41 | 64 | 63 |
| #2 | JEFF | +1.02 | 67 | 63 |
| #3 | Pandaa | +0.58 | 66 | 65 |
| #4 | de_mykey | -1.05 | 68 | 69 |
| #5 | yake | -1.07 | 70 | 39 |





