








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,331 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 816 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1881 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2339 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1295 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $451,777 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | j1mphA | 38% | 58 |
| #10 | 3rk0 | 37% | 35 |
| #11 | jacob | 36% | 39 |
| #12 | SleepyDead | 35% | 49 |
| #13 | Roosenu | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SleepyDead | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | AK Phantom | 3 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | j1mphA | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | ✪Kfars✪ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Glödis | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SleepyDead | 101 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | ICE | 91 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #3 | jacob | 83 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | ✪Kfars✪ | 70 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | j1mphA | 68 | 0.06 | 2 min |





