










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 208 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 412 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6513 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,422 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9551 | 38% |
| Smokes | 5437 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 7062 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3372 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,464,335 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 853 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Karl Gustav | 47% | 128 |
| #9 | Hopmo | 45% | 122 |
| #10 | Dyhmie | 42% | 64 |
| #11 | iCraZzy | 40% | 104 |
| #12 | Moonas | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JibbitJayson | 68 | 0.0138 |
| #2 | Mr.NoSkill | 34 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Karl Gustav | 17 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Pencil_Case | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Dyhmie | 9 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.NoSkill | 673 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | JibbitJayson | 484 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | Zernichter | 355 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | Pencil_Case | 244 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Dyhmie | 233 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pencil_Case | +1.04 | 61 | 66 |
| #2 | Per1x | +0.99 | 56 | 73 |
| #3 | Zernichter | +0.83 | 64 | 66 |
| #4 | Moonas | +0.61 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | Heda | +0.25 | 77 | 55 |





