








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 687 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5141 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,672 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3603 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3194 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2707 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3168 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,161,078 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turbo Puška | 9 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Liquidline | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Hakuna.#<3 | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Chris.kyle | 5 | 0.0128 |
| #5 | beatkaobey | 4 | 0.0054 |





