








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3442 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2522 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2439 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2889 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2693 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $851,756 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1brillianz | 576 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | Hakuna.#<3 | 326 | 0.30 | 11 min |
| #3 | itzPepe | 297 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | 🌀JohnJayJackson🌀 | 289 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | akaloloo | 273 | 0.19 | 6 min |





