








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
901 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,403 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 779 | 32% |
| Smokes | 444 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1034 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 146 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $352,153 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | xxmurjiexx | 45% | 146 |
| #5 | aim.exe TheHope | 44% | 36 |
| #6 | LazyShot | 26% | 27 |
| #7 | Hamuts! | 24% | 25 |
| #8 | YuYii | 0% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aim.exe TheHope | 14 | 0.0203 |
| #2 | xxmurjiexx | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Hamuts! | 5 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | ⁅𝕎𝕚𝕫𝕫𝕦⁆ | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | LazyShot | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xxmurjiexx | 74 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #2 | aim.exe TheHope | 65 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | ⁅𝕎𝕚𝕫𝕫𝕦⁆ | 37 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | LazyShot | 37 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hamuts! | 17 | 0.04 | 0 min |





