








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
682 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,996 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 739 | 25% |
| Smokes | 856 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 903 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 498 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $132,981 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chibrenor | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | JaZzyWiLL © | 37% | 60 |
| #3 | Spailloux | 36% | 53 |
| #4 | KaBuM!!! | 36% | 56 |
| #5 | Kira | 35% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chibrenor | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | JaZzyWiLL © | 37% | 60 |
| #3 | Spailloux | 36% | 53 |
| #4 | KaBuM!!! | 36% | 56 |
| #5 | Kira | 35% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spailloux | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spailloux | 261 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | JaZzyWiLL © | 141 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | KaBuM!!! | 87 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kira | 34 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | chibrenor | 1 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaZzyWiLL © | +1.41 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | Kira | +0.60 | 80 | 56 |
| #3 | RequieM | -0.06 | 64 | 65 |
| #4 | Spailloux | -0.79 | 58 | 82 |
| #5 | KaBuM!!! | -2.05 | 71 | 64 |





