








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
600 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,020 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 350 | 17% |
| Smokes | 601 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 495 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 574 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $242,240 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaZzyWiLL © | 41% | 56 |
| #2 | Spailloux | 40% | 55 |
| #3 | KaBuM!!! | 39% | 54 |
| #4 | RequieM | 35% | 49 |
| #5 | strednow | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | KaBuM!!! | 39% | 54 |
| #4 | RequieM | 35% | 49 |
| #5 | strednow | 20% | 15 |
| #6 | Yoshii | 18% | 11 |
| #7 | BobNico | 15% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RequieM | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Spailloux | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | strednow | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spailloux | 270 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | JaZzyWiLL © | 117 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | RequieM | 103 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | KaBuM!!! | 89 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Yoshii | 31 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kira | +1.47 | 81 | 54 |
| #2 | JaZzyWiLL © | +1.30 | 79 | 66 |
| #3 | RequieM | -0.15 | 62 | 65 |
| #4 | Spailloux | -0.85 | 59 | 82 |
| #5 | BobNico | -0.99 | 77 | 26 |





