








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 968 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 323 matches | ||
| Faceit | 315 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7844 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,269 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5650 | 21% |
| Smokes | 7439 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6617 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 7563 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,475,741 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 983 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jah! | 59% | 56 |
| #2 | MMMike | 54% | 116 |
| #3 | dnom | 54% | 50 |
| #4 | sod | 52% | 144 |
| #5 | 𝙨𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙝 | 51% | 270 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MMMike | 54% | 116 |
| #3 | dnom | 54% | 50 |
| #4 | sod | 52% | 144 |
| #5 | 𝙨𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙝 | 51% | 270 |
| #6 | PasteWorthy | 51% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙨𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙝 | 16 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | sod | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | dnom | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | MMMike | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | PasteWorthy | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙨𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙝 | 839 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #2 | sod | 562 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #3 | MMMike | 237 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | PasteWorthy | 168 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | dnom | 111 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sod | +1.01 | 90 | 59 |
| #2 | nick | +0.96 | 66 | 64 |
| #3 | PasteWorthy | +0.67 | 71 | 48 |
| #4 | jah! | +0.61 | 76 | 63 |
| #5 | 𝙨𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙝 | +0.58 | 71 | 61 |





