








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1384 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,437 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1022 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1153 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 373 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 889 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $463,693 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VascoX | 55% | 75 |
| #2 | ap | 53% | 77 |
| #3 | militante Partido TXIGA! | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | tck 死 | 47% | 97 |
| #5 | AVELINO | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tck 死 | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | AVELINO | 4 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | militante Partido TXIGA! | 4 | 0.0099 |
| #4 | VascoX | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Khan | 3 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ap | 358 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | tck 死 | 270 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | luna | 217 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | VascoX | 180 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | AVELINO | 68 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khan | +1.83 | 74 | 65 |
| #2 | ap | +1.35 | 82 | 64 |
| #3 | VascoX | +0.59 | 53 | 61 |
| #4 | nylunddge | +0.11 | 73 | 49 |
| #5 | AVELINO | +0.04 | 66 | 69 |





