








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 618 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2875 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,214 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2701 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2936 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1968 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1609 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,074,498 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 433 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vALENTINO | 55% | 97 |
| #2 | hiivasielu | 51% | 45 |
| #3 | timpapz | 47% | 30 |
| #4 | Notorious A.L.L.U | 46% | 48 |
| #5 | Son_pyle.sponsored by Sexy Unico | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vALENTINO | 55% | 97 |
| #2 | hiivasielu | 51% | 45 |
| #3 | timpapz | 47% | 30 |
| #4 | Notorious A.L.L.U | 46% | 48 |
| #5 | Son_pyle.sponsored by Sexy Unico | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Notorious A.L.L.U | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | hiivasielu | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vALENTINO | 347 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | timpapz | 124 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | Son_pyle.sponsored by Sexy Unico | 83 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | hiivasielu | 59 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Notorious A.L.L.U | 26 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vALENTINO | +4.40 | 77 | 73 |
| #2 | adi | +0.71 | 73 | 56 |
| #3 | hiivasielu | -0.21 | 48 | 54 |
| #4 | timpapz | -1.21 | 52 | 73 |
| #5 | Son_pyle.sponsored by Sexy Unico | -4.67 | 17 | 65 |





