








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 638 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 111 matches | ||
| Wingman | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2124 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,295 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1715 | 27% |
| Smokes | 834 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1937 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1809 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $768,936 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 562 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blood tears | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | vlr | 61% | 113 |
| #3 | amber | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blood tears | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | vlr | 61% | 113 |
| #3 | amber | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | amber | 19 | 0.0491 |
| #2 | vlr | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | blood tears | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vlr | 298 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | blood tears | 57 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | amber | 44 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vlr | +4.49 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | blood tears | +3.18 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | cloy | +2.11 | 70 | 53 |
| #4 | amber | +0.17 | 94 | 30 |





