








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
308 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 980 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 177 | 18% |
| Smokes | 324 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 248 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 231 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $34,438 of utility $25 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hose | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | BUZA | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Dust II Enjoyer | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | FaZe Garry | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | Jayjoe | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Avi | 42% | 19 |
| #7 | W̶e̴̊̑ḃ̷͒e̷͉͊͝r̸̐ | 40% | 50 |
| #8 | Shade | 30% | 10 |
| #9 | mr. sex man | 29% | 14 |
| #10 | Gecko | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jayjoe | 4 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Avi | 3 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | BUZA | 3 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | Gecko | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | W̶e̴̊̑ḃ̷͒e̷͉͊͝r̸̐ | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avi | 66 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #2 | W̶e̴̊̑ḃ̷͒e̷͉͊͝r̸̐ | 59 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | mr. sex man | 28 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Gecko | 23 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | BUZA | 21 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BUZA | +4.12 | 66 | 39 |
| #2 | Avi | +3.79 | 53 | 52 |
| #3 | Shade | +3.71 | 67 | 39 |
| #4 | Hose | +3.47 | 57 | 51 |
| #5 | FaZe Garry | +2.82 | 61 | 16 |





