










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 311 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1185 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,636 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1622 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1333 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 738 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 943 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $351,942 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | notProxy | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Crozer | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | Nobody | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | BatroxMeister | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | Exy | 54% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | JULIO | 50% | 12 |
| #7 | Kaïppy | 50% | 16 |
| #8 | TiitBob | 47% | 36 |
| #9 | Madderose | 38% | 8 |
| #10 | Billy B | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Exy | 6 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | TiitBob | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Kaïppy | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Nobody | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Exy | 139 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | Billy B | 94 | 0.35 | 3 min |
| #3 | JULIO | 75 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #4 | TiitBob | 67 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Crozer | 49 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | passive awper | +1.59 | 89 | 58 |
| #2 | BatroxMeister | +1.53 | 54 | 59 |
| #3 | Exy | +1.25 | 83 | 59 |
| #4 | JULIO | +0.88 | 75 | 63 |
| #5 | TiitBob | +0.71 | 78 | 55 |





