








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,227 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 370 | 30% |
| Smokes | 175 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 382 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 300 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $272,059 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -->mio<-- | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | elis.tor | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | Siggy | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | unn4rf | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | Sigurdur | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3D_Prototype | 9 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | 你媽媽性感 | 7 | 0.0352 |
| #3 | wølf | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Sigurdur | 1 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | -->mio<-- | 1 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 你媽媽性感 | 48 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #2 | Sigurdur | 31 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | 3D_Prototype | 26 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | wølf | 26 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Isakje | 15 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elis.tor | +4.22 | 78 | 80 |
| #2 | -->mio<-- | +3.99 | 46 | 30 |
| #3 | Sigurdur | +2.79 | 85 | 60 |
| #4 | Klemmiii | +0.52 | 80 | 62 |
| #5 | Moðhaus | +0.38 | 58 | 34 |





