








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 297 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2918 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,756 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4076 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3537 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4538 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2605 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $560,831 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -_skill issue | 56% | 119 |
| #2 | J0N1 | 53% | 47 |
| #3 | bilbo.- | 53% | 96 |
| #4 | KuschL #yeet | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | Wallah mach nicht so ☂ | 49% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | J0N1 | 53% | 47 |
| #3 | bilbo.- | 53% | 96 |
| #4 | KuschL #yeet | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | Wallah mach nicht so ☂ | 49% | 80 |
| #6 | Gabe Itches ☂ | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wallah mach nicht so ☂ | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | -_skill issue | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | bilbo.- | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | J0N1 | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | KuschL #yeet | 2 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bilbo.- | 291 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | -_skill issue | 250 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Wallah mach nicht so ☂ | 125 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | J0N1 | 99 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | KuschL #yeet | 88 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bilbo.- | +3.10 | 82 | 72 |
| #2 | KuschL #yeet | +2.30 | 76 | 68 |
| #3 | -_skill issue | +1.68 | 79 | 65 |
| #4 | Gabe Itches ☂ | +1.17 | 76 | 54 |
| #5 | J0N1 | +0.81 | 71 | 68 |





